Jim and Kim and my Dad by Greg

I mentioned earlier that Jimmy has been released from the hospital and is now home in Reedsport. Their two kids, Bryan and Elisabeth, are there now as well, having driven up from their homes in California. They will be there a couple of weeks and Jim’s sister has also come up to help with caring for Jim. Lizzy has accelerated her wedding plans and I will be attending her wedding to be held at Jim and Kim’s home on Saturday.

Jim’s prognosis has not improved but he is going to have a PT scan done on Thursday in hopes that some sort of treatment protocol might be available if more is known. It does not look good though.

I expect to see my old man while in Reedsport this week since he plans to attend the wedding. I am estranged from him and have not seen or talked to him in going on 13 years. He never was much of a father. He and my mother were divorced when I was nine and he pretty much abandoned me, my two sisters, and little brother until I was in high school. From 1992 through 1994 I had spent a couple of vacations with him and my kids on camping trips and felt that we had reconciled and I expected to build on that relationship from there but….

In 1995 Von and I got together and I invited her to drive down to his place in Copperopolis, California, a little town near Sonora. Amazingly, she accepted and I loaded her, the kids, and a bunch of camping gear in my four door sedan for the trek. Dad owned a small motorhome and after we got to his place we loaded our stuff in it and drove over to the Russian River. We had a decent enough time although he did not treat Von very well. Then my brother and his oldest son arrived to spend a couple of days with us. Dad’s behavior and treatment of both Von and me worsened. He began drinking heavily.

After Bill and Adam left us to continue their drive on to Oregon we drove over to Petaluma and parked at an RV park there. Von and I asked to borrow the RV and he agreed to watch the kids at the swimming pool there while we went over to Rohnert Park and my old college stomping grounds. We were gone a couple of hours. By the time we got back Dad had finished off a twelve pack of Budweiser. When he asked me to make him a gin and tonic I refused and told him he ddn’t need that. He flipped out. He wanted to abandon the trip then and there. Because he was drunk we refused to ride with him. He then forced us to take our things out of his motorhome and drove off leaving me, three wet kids, and a totally befuddled Von standing there in the RV park with no tent, no car, no food and nearing dark.

Fortunately we were able to call a cab and check into a nearby hotel. The next day we rented a car and drove to Copperopolis to get my car back. Dad was still drinking when we got there and we had an altercation in which Von certainly saved me from a physical fight with him by intervening. That’s the last time I saw or talked to him. He does see my sisters and brother from time to time but this will be my first confrontation with him since then.

I promised Von I will behave and I will but my ill will towards him has not alleviated an iota. I cannot forget what he did to her. She stayed with me and helped me get over the guilt I felt. It is hard not to believe that it is something you did that sets a drunk like that off. It was the first great lesson I learned from Von, but not the last.

However, Von and I are having a good time here. We got the motorcycle out of the trailer for the first time since August and I put the bicycle on the trainer and actually rode on the trainer for 20 minutes. That felt good. There are a few photos in the gallery.

Sorry about so much of the personal history. I am not looking forward to seeing the SOB.

Later,

Greg