Wedding Day by Greg

I said yesterday that I had some thoughts to post. I was referring to a conversation I had with Aaron the other day about the advantages and disadvantages to knowing that you were going to die within a fairly predictable timeframe. The wedding today is an example of something good coming from that knowledge. Lizzy was able to move her wedding plans up so Jimmy will be there. I think the ability to get things in order and to say good-byes to friends and family is a tremendous upside to this situation.

When I was younger I think that, like most of us when young, I would say that I wanted to go quickly. Seeing this with Jimmy and having lost my mother recently to a very sudden end I would prefer this. Of course the pain and the fear of dying are so difficult and the emotions are exhausting but being able to see Jimmy’s strength in dealing with this is a good thing. This is a part of life too. A difficult part but with the love of friends and family it is bearable.

Family has really come through. Jim’s sister Patsy is here and all of the Ledbetter children as well. My (and Kim’s of course) cousins and my mother’s twin sister came down yesterday. We were very close growing up and Collette was an anchor helping to make bouquets from rough cut flowers for the wedding. The house was cleaned and decorations hung, all by close family. Lizzy’s best friend’s mother is a Judge and she will be conducting the wedding ceremony today. While Jim is confused by all this and his thinking has slowed down I still believe this is a very positive ending for his life.

Maybe I said this in a previous post but his sense of humor is so deeply ingrained that even if it takes a little longer than it used to for him to speak, he still makes all of us laugh. It is a gift. Knowing him and having him in our lives all these years has been a gift. I wish I could thank him for it and have him know how much I love him and will miss him. We still tiptoe around the subject though since he seems to not understand what all is going on.

The doctor did not call yesterday as we had expected so we do not have any new information on his prognosis. I think it does not matter really. We have to cherish each moment we have left with him. And we should do that daily with all those we care about.

Take care you all out there who stop by. Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them. You will not always be able to do so.

I thought this blog would be about our journeys. I guess it still is but this is not the journey we had planned. Not in the way I had hoped for. It has become much more personal than I perhaps I even want. But there you have it.

Greg